Palace Revolution

I'm all the words--just jumbled up. I'm all those things that I never wanted to be. 
I've wondered in amazement at those that seem to take it all in stride-I've decided that I will try this out. 
So I'm good-whether it's because I won't let myself be anything else or because I actually am, I don't know. Maybe there is no difference.
 

"i was getting ready to be a threat
i was getting set for my accidental suicide
the kind where no one dies, no one looks too surprised
and then you, then you realize that you're riding on the para-success
of a heavy-handed metaphor
and a feeling like you've been here before

cause you've been here before, and you've been here before
then a word washed to shore
then a word washed to shore
then a word washed to shore

sovay, sovay, sovay
all along in the day

i was getting ready to consider my next plan of attack
i think i'm gonna sack the whole board of trustees
all those don quixotes in their b-17's
and i swear this time, yeah this time
they'll blow us back to the seventies
and this time
they're playin Ride of the Valkyries
with no semblance of grace or ease
and they're acting on vagaries, with their violent proclivities
and they're playing ride, playing ride
playing ride, ride, Ride of the Valkyries

sovay, sovay, sovay
all along the day

i was getting ready to threaten to be a threat
instead of thinking about my plan of attack, think about a sack
the whole board of trustees, all those don quixotes in their b-17's
and i swear this time it blows back to the 70's
and this time, they're playin Ride of the Valkyries
with no semblance of grace or ease
now they're acting on vagaries
with their violent proclivities

and they're playin ride
and they're playin ride
playin ride, playin ride, playin ride, playin ride
Ride of the Valkyries"



pretty much sums it up
 

Don't  ever say I'm too good for you...

I stared at the picture for a long time.  An emotion that I rarely feel,that I barely even know, was stirring. 

 
Feeling lost somewhere in time
In between now and never
A ghost in my own reality

 

 Please get your mind right. Vote against the war.

thao with the get down stay down.
march 15, reggie's--chicago

Yeah, I was sitting there thinking...

Wondering about life and the universe and that bullshit.

But really, mostly just wondering how the fuck I was going to get out of work.

You are not lost, you are not wrong
You are not that which you most fear
Tell your demons to disperse
They are not welcome here
And if I miss you
And if we falter
We will rendezvous 

Andrew Bird in September.
It will be a little black dress affair.

Every so often I revisit Damien Rice and each time I am transported to the part of my mind that knows nothing but uncertainty. I can't wait until I no longer go there.

It seems to me sometimes that life would be easier if only I were one of those people that only listened to shallow pop rock and consumed my mind with Anna Nicole's baby.












no offense.

I am enjoying Armchair Apocrypha A LOT! Some remakes (ex Darkmatter) aren't as good as the originals but overall I like. I'm relieved it wasn't some huge let down (ex The Crane Wife).

I'm trying to be finished. Finished asking questions, for feeling sorry for myself about all this bullshit. But you know, some habits are hard to kill.

I think I am a bit bi-polar. Or possibly truly insane.

Don't you know that I'll be around to guide you
Through your weakest moments to leave them behind you
Returning nightmares only shadows
We'll cast some light and you'll be alright for now
Crosses all over, heavy on your shoulders
The sirens inside you waiting to step forward
Disturbing silence darkens your sight
We'll cast some light and you'll be alright for now
Crosses all over the boulevard
The streets outside your window overflooded
People staring they know you've been broken
Repeatedly reminded by the looks on their faces
Ignore them tonight and you'll be alright
We'll cast some light and you'll be alright

because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved...

last night i found myself among flashing red lights, empty roads, and tears. Breaking apart just to become whole.

but I know. I know we're each just trying to make it.

Thankful for relaxation, complication,
and irritation
Succlusion, confusion are my impurities
And my securities

I love
love
love you...

I miss miss miss...

But I'm working on it.

"Lost my train of thought around Chicago.
I found a little solace where you laid.
Never made collages as a young child.
Not that much to see, so much to say.
Now even in this silence there's a thunder,
And rain, it steals the breath beneath this cage.
And at least I've got your memory to sooth me,
This bitter poison rippening with age.
Because everything I've ever done, I've done because I love you.
Silly you should ask.
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year scared that I might need you.
Bring me down and I'll feel again.
Everything I've ever done, I've done because I love you
Sideways.
Lost my patience well before west fourth street.
Found a copper coin, said "Seize the day."
And I let the angry audience surround me,
Hiding as I screamed, "Give o'er the play."
And, now, even in this thunder there's a silence,
A shread of comfort standing at my door.
And, at least, I've got the sense to reconstruct you,
And leave me twice as lucid as before.
Because everything I've ever done, I've done because I love you.
Silly you should ask.
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year scared that I might need you.
Bring me down and I'll feel again.
Everything I've ever done, I've done because I love you
Sideways.
You left your mark.
You left your face in the corner of my mind three times.
You left your mark.
You left yourself.
And at least I've got the sense to see what's coming.
And realize that good things never come to those who wait too long.
Because everything I've ever done, I've done because I love you.
Silly you should ask.
I'm afraid that I'll spend the better part of next year scared that I might need you.
Bring me down and I'll feel again.
Everything I've ever done, I've done because I love you
Sideways."

Accept.
Acceptance.
Trust.
Trusting you to be honest with me. Accepting your friendship and your honesty.

When did this become so hard, and why?

It's not as simple as letting my guard down and trusting that you'll still be there through it all; it's trusting that I will. Still be here.

That I will still be here to love.

That I will not regret.